“Searching for Full is daring and sometimes devastating, but just as Paige brought us down to the floor beside her, she also holds our hand as we stand up together.”

—Bridey Thelen-Heidel

author of "Bright Eyes: Surviving Our Monsters and Learning to Live Without Them"

“Intellectually sharp and profoundly human, illuminating the complex terrain of recovery with honesty and courage.”

—Yvonne Castañeda

LICSW, author of "Pork Belly Tacos with a Side of Anxiety"

Published by She Writes Press distributed by Simon and Schuster

“Paige shows us how our health care and medical research systems need to evolve so that eating disorders can be fully understood and met with effective and compassionate care.”
—Jessica Scheer

CEO, National Eating Disorders Association

“This book will resonate with anyone who has struggled with the constant chatter of any addiction.”
—Andrea Leeb

author of USA Today Bestseller "Such A Pretty Picture"

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For more than twenty years, Paige Gordon suffered in plain sight. This is the story she could never tell until now.

A memoir about bulimia, hidden suffering, and the search for answers.

In Searching for Full, Paige’s story becomes a catalyst for advocacy: for research funding, for new treatment models, and for permission to talk about the things we’ve been taught to hide. It’s a personal narrative designed to shift public understanding and scientific priorities at the same time. It tells the story of an unexpected recovery that challenged everything Paige thought she knew about her eating disorder.

When a GLP-1 medication silenced twenty years of bulimia within weeks, it raised a question that would change the course of her life: what if some eating disorders involve biological mechanisms we have yet to fully understand? Rather than offering simple answers, the experience becomes a clue—one that raises larger questions about the biology of eating disorders and why some patients respond so differently to treatment than others.

Searching for Full explores both the promise and the uncertainty of emerging biological approaches. What helps one patient may harm another. Understanding those differences may be one of the most important challenges facing the field.

It exposes how silence and performance keep people sick, even when they look successful.

Paige had every external marker of control: intelligence, stability, achievement, privilege. But beneath it was a private, punishing cycle no one saw. The book shows how the culture of composure, the expectation to be fine, pretty, functional, becomes its own form of illness. Recovery began not with perfection, but with radical honesty.